Motherhood is a beautiful journey. As we embark different destinations of raising a child we enfold new leaflets of life.
Children are joys of life as well as source of pride, seed of arrogance, the cause of distress and allurement. Therefore we need to be very focused and careful about their upbringing.
I would like to share few points I learned from my experience while raising my daughters.
- We have to make them good human beings and most importantly good practising Muslims for this we have to inculcate “LOVE FOR ALLAH IN THEM “. Whenever we take our kids outdoors I ask them to ponder over the creations of ALLAH, all the blessings HE has bestowed on us.
ALLAH the exalted says:
“Verily! In the creation of the heavens and the earth and in the alteration of night and day, there are indeed signs for men of understandings. Those who remember ALLAH standing, sitting and lying down on their sides and think deeply about the creations of heavens and the earth (saying):
Al Quran [3 : 190,191]
Our RABB! You have not created (all) this without purpose, glory to YOU! (exalted be you above all that they associate with you as partners)
- “Practice what you preach” that is to say whatever Islamic knowledge we are giving them, we as parents should be practicing it too. Our kids watch us whatever we do; we are their role models, mentors from their early life.
As it is so rightly said,
Don’t worry that your children never listen to you, worry that they are always watching you.
Rober Fughum
- A child becomes what condition he is being raised in.
If he is brought up in loving atmosphere, he learns to spread love similarly if he is brought up in good Islamic society with Islamic values, automatically he emerges as good Muslim with all the morals and values in him.
- One most important lesson which I learned is saying YES is important but making the understand NO is more important.
I see children throwing tantrums in shopping malls and play areas; it often leaves a question in my mind, where did the parenting go wrong. Isn’t it like we forgot to tell them NO when we were so busy saying YES to them.
- NIP IN THE BUD that is to say bad habits should be put an end to from the beginning.
- We should build a good character in them. Tell them the stories from Prophet’s life.
Give examples of our beloved Holy Prophet (PBUH) that he was a kind and a generous man. He was RAHMAT UL LIL AALAMEEN for all of us. He taught us to show excellence in our dealings with others.
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)
“Verily, Allah does not look at your appearance or wealth, but rather he looks at your hearts and actions.”
Al-Bukhari
Also let them know the rewards for good conduct.
ALLAH (SWT) said:
The Jannah is prepared for those who repress anger and who pardon men.
Al Quran [3:134]
In this way the children will be able to make a checklist of their behaviour and conduct.
- Don’t manipulate things for them; our kids are way too smart. This is where they learn to lie with us. Tell them that ALLAH is ‘’AS – SAMI’’ and ‘’AL – BASEER’’
He is constantly hearing us and watching us.
ALLAH (SWT) says in Quran:
There is nothing like HIM, and HE is THE HEARING, THE SEEING.
Al Quran [42:11]
- One most important thing which I learnt ;’’ Patience and Perseverance ‘’is the key to good parenting.
Children are dependent on their parents and Islam clearly emphasized on their responsibility on forming the child’s personality.
Prophet (PBUH) said:
There is no gift a parent can give his child that is better than good manners.
Tirmidhi Hadith [4977]